Once September hit, I kind of fell off the face of the earth. Sure, there were a few sporadic posts, but for the most part I wasn't around.
My grandma got really sick in September. She was having a hard time remembering things and could barely walk. I was helping take care of her, and even though I love my grandma, it was draining. As the months went on, she got worse. Lots of hospital stays, and the eventual move into an assisted living facility. She spent Christmas and New Years there, in that place full of crazy seniors. And on January 6th, 2011, she passed away. It still hurts me every single day, we were very close.
Other things weren't going well during that time either. I failed three of the four classes I took that semester, my relationship was getting overly annoying and I was thinking of leaving, I applied of lots of jobs and didn't get any of them.....it was stressful.
I told myself that I was going to make this blog a "happy" one, and not focus on the negative things. I wanted more readers, and I was hoping to make friends through this thing, like I've read happens on so many others' blogs. Well, trying to focus on the positive deprived me of an outlet to vent, because there weren't many positives in my life at that time. As for the friends.....well, lets just say that didn't work out. I've been so desperate to make them, I guess maybe I come off as weird or needy. In any event, blogging drained me too, because I couldn't deal with my own hypocrisy anymore.
I suspect I'll be back on this thing. Maybe not frequently, and it may not all be happy. But it will be for me, and that's really all that matters.
