an update

Here's a little update to what I posted yesterday.

Apparently, officials are saying that the doctor died accidentally/by suicide. Since she went feet first into the chimney, they're saying she was trying to pull a Santa Claus to get into her boyfriend's house. I find it really hard to believe that someone would really do that on their own. And the story that's being reported is completely different then the one her sister has been telling, so maybe the police are just trying to be sneaky? Maybe they made up the story, trying to get her boyfriend back into the country so they can arrest him. Its hard to say, the whole thing has just been so strange and crazy.

I would like to say how awful people can be though. Our local newspaper/news stations all have websites and allow readers to comment on the stories. People have been saying such awful things about this lady. It makes me wonder what kind of life she was living. Was it lonely? Was she really crazy?

Its all so sad.

as seen on teevee, except this is real

On Friday night the other half and I had his mom babysit the kids so we could go out. We decided to try a new pizza place that everyone has been raving about. It was totally overrated. It took them about an hour to give us our pizza (and they weren't busy) and the bottom was completely burnt. To top it off, it made the other half really really sick. Anyway, when we went to pick up the kids we were told that the other half's stepdad had received a disturbing call. Apparently his ex live-in girlfriend/practically his wife had disappeared. She had been missing for two days when he was called. All of her cars, cash, etc were still at her home.....and her boyfriend (rumor-whispered to be very physically abusive) had taken off to her birthday trip....in Amsterdam.

Can you guess what I'm about to tell you next?

The other half's stepdad received a call on Sunday morning, what would've been the ex's 50th birthday. She was found. Murdered. Stuffed in the boyfriend's fireplace.

The only reason they found her is because the boyfriend had arranged for someone to feed his fish while they were supposed to be in Amsterdam together. It had been horribly hot in the days that she was missing....and dead bodies already don't smell so great....

I didn't know her, so I'm not sad to lose a friend or anything like that. What makes it sad is how one person could do that another. What is this world coming to? People will argue that she was a smart lady (a doctor, actually), that she should have left. And even though she should have, she didn't deserve to die because of it. And if you've never been in a abusive relationship (physical or emotional), you don't know how hard it is. Its hard to take, but it is very hard to leave.

Its just a sad situation all over.

hot hot hot

It ended up being 111 degrees here yesterday, that was a record for this town. Our last recorded record high for that date was 106 in 1924. I seriously wish we could move out of this town. I am not a hot weather person. Its supposed to be 104 today, so I guess I can venture out. Well, I kind of have to. All my Word/Works programs stopped working on me last night, I need to finish up my schoolwork for the week (I'm doing all online classes this semester). I'll have to go to my parents' house to finish. I'll just keep the windows down in the car and drive fast :)

In other news:
I'm sending a postcard out to my Secret Pal today, super excited! 

Sorry for all the posts at once, I just needed to catch up on my journal pages. There are still two more I need to put up...those will be coming later.

Its already 99 degrees today. I hear its supposed to be around 110 :( This makes me very unhappy. I can't go anywhere (you know, no car air conditioner) and to make matters worse, we're dogsitting. I guess this dog is an inside dog anyway, but we've been having to leave him outside because the kids don't like him (this dog is huge). I feel bad for leaving him out there in the heat, so I've been letting him come inside. Its causing chaos for the kids though (especially Rea, she does not like dogs). I really didn't want to keep this dog anyway, but the other half didn't take my opinion into consideration when he agreed (what else is new?).

I have been feeling very blah the past few days, I don't know whats causing it. I think maybe I'm just feeling lonely again, and a little bored. Those feelings spike sometimes, and make me feel miserable.

journaling for a cause; prompt 28

Prompt Twenty-Eight: September Goals.

My goals page got hacked off when I took the picture. Pretty much, I want to buy a vegan cookbook (I'm not vegan, but I don't see too many fat ones, so maybe there's something to it), maybe buy a Kindle, stay on top of my schoolwork (school started Monday), make at least one thing for our house (and actually, I meant patio. I'm focusing on outdoor things right now) and to enjoy what life brings me during the month (I'm hoping to not stress out too much basically).

journaling for a cause: prompt 27

Prompt Twenty-Seven: Use A Different Medium.

I used string to create a border. I never use string for anything but bracelets! I don't think its necessarily a different medium, but it was nice to use a different material.

journaling for a cause: prompt 26

Prompt Twenty-Six: Journal Lessons Learned.

journaling for a cause: prompt 25

Prompt Twenty-Five: Our favorite season.

Mine is a tie, between fall and winter. Mainly for the holidays, since we don't have either true season here. No leaves that change color, no snow...we're lucky if our temperatures drop into the 40's.

journaling for a cause: prompt 24

Prompt Twenty-Four: An emotion we'd felt during the week.

I did mine on what made me happy, since I'm trying to not focus on the negative too much. If you flip the flaps open, you can see some of the things that made me happy.

special k

I stopped the Special K diet on Sunday. It didn't work for me. The diet left me irritable, dizzy and very very hungry. And to top it all off, I didn't lose any weight. In fact, I gained weight, which was just awful. I don't understand what went wrong. With the exception of like, falling off the diet wagon twice, I stuck to their diet. I guess it just wasn't the right one for me :( But the experience has left me very discouraged and now I have even more weight to lose.

Today is the last day of Journaling For A Cause. I'm bummed, I've loved all the prompts! They really make you think. I need to get updated in posting my journal pages. I think I've got at least five to post, if not more. I did sign up for Janel's I Heart Fall class though, so I'm super excited for that. If you'd like to know more, see this post.

Anyhoo, I should get ready for my day. I've got errands to run...and its supposed to be hot again today, and the air conditioner in my car is still broken.

journaling for a cause: prompt 23

Prompt Twenty-Three: The Unsent Letter. This letter can be to anyone. Things you want to say but probably wouldn't.

I wrote mine to myself. And I moved that four leaf clover sticker; its now holding the envelope closed.

While you can't see what I wrote, I'll give you a hint. Letting go is a choice. And you really can't move forward until you do.

journaling for a cause: prompt 22

Prompt Twenty-Two: What Are You Looking Forward To?

Just some things I'm looking forward to. They're all pretty long term.

journaling for a cause: prompt 21

Prompt Twenty-One: Right This Second. What were we experiencing right at that second when we were holding our journals.

journaling for a cause: prompt 20

Prompt Twenty- 100 Things About Me

That pesky black spot is back on my pictures :(

its a giveaway!

Since I've been mostly home bound due to my broken car air conditioner, I've had time to clean some stuff out. Its been nice, I had a ton of stuff to donate to Goodwill the other day. So what does my giving to Goodwill have to do with a giveaway? Well, I found the first season of Aqua Teen Hunger Force on DVD. They were originally bought years ago for a Christmas gift, but I have no idea who I bought them for. And I'd hate to see them go to waste so......whoever's loss is your gain! If you're interested, leave a comment below by Sunday, August 22. The winner will be drawn on Monday. You automatically get one extra entry if you're a follower of this blog, and you can get an extra entry if you blog about the giveaway, then leave a link to the blog post.

Thanks! And good luck!

falling off the wagon

I fell off the diet wagon on Saturday. I just couldn't take it anymore! I was so hungry, dizzy and irritable. I mean, I didn't go crazy and binge, but I ate more then I have been this past week. I'm determined to get back on track though. I don't want to give up. I need a scale though, just to see if this diet is working.

We were all sick (except for Rea) this weekend, it pretty much sucked. And the McDonalds by our house will not be receiving our money for quite some time.....if we all get sick after eating there, we're not going back.

So I know I've been throwing myself a pity party for not being able to go back to Cal State (because it costs too much and I just can't afford it), but I have started going to a few local junior colleges because I can get financial aid from them. I'm working on trying to get into the LVN (licensed vocational nurse) program at one of them, so its tough. School starts next Monday, I'm hoping I don't get too stressed out. I have four classes right now between two schools, but to get full financial aid, I'm going to have to be a full time student at one of them, adding two more classes on. I think with proper time management and Gav spending a little more time at daycare, I can make it work. I have to. At 26, I should already have a degree and a career. Its time for me to catch up.

Journal pages and a tumblr love to come later :)

Happy Monday!

journaling for a cause: prompt 19

Prompt Nineteen: Who Are You?

So here are some of the things that I am :)

journaling for a cause: prompt 18

Prompt Eighteen: What's the Buzz?

What's buzzing around in your head? Well, these are just a few of my thoughts from that day.

journaling for a cause: prompt 17

Prompt Seventeen: Something Beautiful.

I really had a difficult timing narrowing it down, because I find lots of things beautiful. But then my son drew this picture of me, and I knew what I found most beautiful at that moment. Hes four, so I think he did a really good job :)

yay mail! and lunch

I made plum and feta cheese pizzas for lunch (and one regular sauce and cheese for Gav). I have to say, I didn't like them. They tasted really bitter. But I liked the way they looked, so I took a picture :)

I got my Journaling for a Cause sticker today. It is now resting comfortably on the inside cover of my journal. Thanks Courtney!

I also got my sticker pack for Stick Up for Love. I can't wait to start putting the stickers out and taking pictures of them. Visit here for more info on how you can become a part of Stick Up for Love.

My camera seems to be putting a black spot on my pictures. I've cleaned the lens tons of times, but the black mark is still showing up :( Anyone know what the problem might be?

friday friday

my little girl is five months old today! i can't believe it. where does time go?

three journal pages will show up later, i've been super busy the past few days.

the diet has left me irritable and hungry (still). i need to get near a scale to see if i've actually lost weight. if i haven't even lost water weight, i think i'm going to stop and re-evaluate. 

i had an awful dream last night. i caught the other half having sex with someone else, and then he left me for her because "shes what you're not- skinny, fun and interesting." i woke up crying, that's how bad it was. we had a really pretty bed in the dream though....strange...

happy friday the 13th!

diet day two.....

....left me very much like The Very Hungry Catepillar.

"..but he was still hungry."

Does this get any easier? I'm tired of being hungry :(

Image from Google Image Search.

rough night

I had a pretty rough night last night. The air conditioner in my car went out, and apparently its really expensive to fix. The (small) bright side is that it hasn't been super duper hot lately, but its still hot enough that I won't be able to go out during the day with the kids in the car :(  This will add tons of stress to my day, but hopefully I will adjust.

The other half and I also got into a huge fight before bed (I really, really wish he'd just accept when I say no), and I can't sleep when I know hes mad at me. So once I finally did manage to fall asleep, several hours after I had wanted to, little Rea decided she needed to wake up at 0300. So I thought I'd finally be able to sleep after that, but no, the other half's cell phone starts ringing at 0530. At that point, I gave up. Little Rea then decided to wake up again at 0650, and I maybe got three hours of sleep total. My head really hurts. We don't even have any soda right now, so that really sucks. I'm like a crack addict when it comes to caffeine, I need it to get through my day. And I prefer my caffeine in soda form.

Despite my crappy night, I'm hoping to have an okay day.

journaling for a cause: prompt 16

Prompt Sixteen: Pets! Or if you don't have pets, favorite animal.

I don't have any pets currently, so I did mine on two of my favorite goldfish I had as a child. The orange one is Lucky....as in lucky to be alive. He was about nine years old when he finally went on to fishy heaven. The silver fish is Arnold Fishenegger. He was bought with the rest of my goldfish, but he turned into a silver-y metallic color, and got super huge. He was even a little mean to the rest of my goldfish.

patios and other things

Okay, I admit it, I'm not a huge fan of the outdoors. Mainly, I hate bugs. They scare me. But I have a weakness for beautiful patios, I think every home should have one. So I was really excited when I saw this feature on MSN.com. Above are my favorite photos from it.

Diet Day One left me very hungry. I hoping today will be a little better.

And the Crest 3D whitening toothpaste is a win. I've only been using it since Sunday and I can already see a difference.

journaling for a cause: prompt 15

Prompt Fifteen: 50 Random Things About Me.

Pretty self explanatory. I did a little collage, then two pages of facts. I thought it would be difficult to think of fifty random things, but once I started  found that I could have easily surpassed fifty :)

journaling for a cause: prompt 14

Prompt Fourteen: Five Things.
We were supposed to use five things that were laying nearby us. I found this stuff on my coffee table. My five things are a Wild Water Adventures ad, the Skittles bag, a non-winning Lotto ticket, a badge sticker and the tag I wrote the date on (its a binder file tab label). The second picture is of prompt 13 and 14.

journaling for a cause: prompt 13

Prompt Thirteen: Childhood Dreams

I chose to do mine on what I wanted to be when I grew up. I am none of those things :)

post secret- from a mail lady's perspective

I love reading the Post Secret blog. It satisfies my urge to be nosy :) Sometimes I wonder if all the secrets are real though, or if people make them up in an effort to be on the blog or in one of the books. Anyway, here's a blog post written by the former mail lady to the guy who started the project. Its a pretty interesting read, if you like Post Secret.

mood adjuster

So Friday I was in a pretty icky mood. I watched (500) Days of Summer and it kind of perked me up. I know thats not a happy movie persay, but I liked it. Zooey Deschanel is adorable, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt is super sexy.

Saturday was okay. The other half and I had another talk about me, but this time it seemed like he really cared and wasn't just being an ass. He even mentioned some things that I have realized about myself, but we've never discussed. It caught me off guard that he actually noticed. I owe it to myself, and to him, to try to get back to where I used to be. We also took Gav bowling, and he had tons of fun. Hes a really good bowler, considering hes only four and has only "real" bowled twice (he mostly just plays on the Wii or with his plastic lawn set).

Yesterday I started using that Crest 3D Whitening toothpaste. I can't wait to see if it works. Whitening strips are so expensive, and I don't have a dentist anymore, so I can't go and get my teeth bleached.

I started the Special K diet today. I'm really hoping I can stick with it, and I really hope it works. The products are kind of expensive, so I'm planning on doing it just long enough to train myself to eat less, then take it into my own hands. I've heard that losing baby weight is harder than just losing fat, so I don't look forward to that (I'm trying to lose pregnancy weight, and then some). Next up is finding a workout cycle I can do (probably a rotation of DVDs).

And here's something I'd like to share: this post from Miss Indie is very cheery and will perk up your day. I wish I had this on Friday!

Journal entries to come later.

:)

journaling for a cause: prompt 12

Prompt Twelve: How was your day?/What did you do today?

I'm not sharing the page I made for this prompt. Its very depressing. Theres no point in writing about your day when you don't have a day to write about. Maybe once I get a life I'll have days to write about, but not right now.

Yes, I'm in a very depressed mood today. If you're going to say something poopy to me, save it.

Here's hoping for a better tomorrow.

moody blues

I guess I've been depressed lately. Well, I should say noticeably more so. Even the other half commented on it last night. It wasn't any positive comment though. He said I need to find something to occupy my time, which I do agree with. This sitting around the house being bored and watching Law and Order reruns (when its not on Nick Jr for Gav) sucks. But then he goes on to say that I need to clean the house more. He knows its not fun, but it'll give me something to do. He says I need to work on making the house my "domain", which I guess is what he thinks all women do? Maybe I'd work on the house if I actually wanted to live here. I never wanted to move in here. I hate this side of town, I hate hardwood floors.....I liked the apartment we were living in before we moved here. He got pressured into moving in here because of his mom (yes, we rent from her and its a nightmare). All I want to do is move...... I just think it was a really low blow to pretend to be concerned for me, just to turn it into a lecture on how I need to be domestic. At least he didn't go for the no friends angle (this time), that really would've upset me. I guess I'm just bothered because he always tries to bring up me being depressed, but he doesn't try to help me find a solution. All he does is nit pick at me. Nobody wants to be friends with me because I'm boring/lame/bitchy, I need to clean more, the kids aren't too much to deal with, I need to cook more, I need to do this, I can't do that, I can't have any money...etc etc etc... Its so draining.

Sorry, I just needed to vent.

tee shirt quilt

Is it bad that one of the things I loved the most about Eclipse (besides super hot Edward and even hotter Jacob) was the trip tee shirt quilt that Bella's mom made for her? Its been like,months since I've seen the movie and I'm still thinking about it! I think that's an awesome idea and I really want to start making one. We don't really go anywhere other then the beach though, which might defeat the purpose. I just might have to start buying shirts when we go and make one anyway :)

journaling for a cause: prompt 11

Prompt Eleven: Three Things You Can't Live Without.

Some of the others in the class took this really literally and put things like oxygen, water, food etc. I decided to not take it so literal and instead focused on things that without,  might make my day suck. I don't feel like I have a wretched life for putting things like these (as someone flat out posted in their journal. they said, basically, that if we put material things and not the literal ones, we have wretched, awful lives...).

journaling for a cause: prompt 10

Prompt Ten: Book Lists! Could be a list of anything about books. I made a list of books I need to read, one I've read recently and a list of favorites. As a former avid reader who sorely misses it, this list was kind of fun and kind of sad to do.

journaling for a cause: prompt 9

Prompt Nine: What would the cover to our life story look like? Who would write it?

I think my cover is pretty self explanatory. I didn't really like this prompt, honestly.

baby food

We have started giving Rea some baby foods. Not all the time, just like two times a day, every other day. I had wanted to wait as long as I could to start her on them (shes only almost five months old), but she just loves to eat and we go through formula like crazy! We use Gerber Nature Select baby food (1st foods- for supported sitters). So far she l-o-v-e-s sweet potatoes and is on the rocks about bananas. I can't believe shes growing so fast. You'd think I'd be prepared, since Gav is four years old and we've been through the baby thing before, but its still shocking. Time flies so fast.

journaling for a cause: prompt 8

Prompt Eight: Go-to Clothes

Mine spanned two pages, here they are.

And now...I'm finally caught up!!! Yay!!

journaling for a cause: prompt 7

Prompt Seven: What Are You Thankful For?

My thankfuls are the steam :)

journaling for a cause: prompt 6

Prompt Six: Your Choice

I made a collage for mine. Big shock, I know :) The second picture shows prompt five next to it, since they kind of blend together (and that wasn't really planned).

journaling for a cause: prompt 5

Prompt Five: Its All in the Details.

This one was open to interpretation. I chose to to mine about collages, since that's the type of art I do the most.

journaling for a cause: prompt 4

Prompt Four: Happiness.

These are some things that make me happy.

journaling for a cause: prompt 3

Prompt Three:Altered Images.

These were done from a picture I took of the Golden Gate Bridge back in the early 2000's.

Sorry the pictures are blurry, my camera just wouldn't take a decent shot of this page.

i'm so behind!!

I'm so behind in my Journaling for a Cause entries! It has been hectic around here (an allergy sick boy, a cranky baby girl, housework,my brother's academy graduation, etc) and I have fallen very behind. Today though damnit! I will work on as many as I can to catch up, and I'll post them all here soon. I promise. Soon.