Good-bye 2011.

I wrote this on my Tumblr, but thought I'd share it here :)

So I guess its that time to recap the year and to make resolutions.

2011 was a crappy year, sprinkled with some good stuff. My grandma dying in January pretty much set the tone for my year, even though I thought I could get past it. I didn't. I haven't. The loneliness, depression and anxiety have only gotten worse as the months have passed. And then there are all the other medical problems that started in September and haven't really gone away. I truly believe that if your body feels its being wasted, it will start to waste away. And that's where I've been this whole year. Toss in all the family drama (some I was dragged into not by choice, others because I cared too much to not get involved) and, its been an emotionally trying year, to say the least.

There have been some good too. My son tackled a lot of firsts this year. First official swim lessons, first season of AYSO soccer, first day of kindergarten, first lost tooth...just to name a few :) To see him conquer his firsts and his fears make me a proud mommy, and thats all there is to it. All parents want is for their children to succeed. And at five years old, hes doing a pretty good job. My daughter hit some firsts too. Walking, talking and dancing her way through the year.(I doubt any of you know a one year old that can dance as well as she can). Shes feisty, so smart and opinionated. I can't wait to see what the next year brings for her.

I got to cross some stuff off my life endeavors list (because the term bucket list sends me into anxiety attacks) too. Seeing New Kids on the Block in concert, going to Las Vegas and eating at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles....they seem silly, and they are, but I had a lot of fun doing it all. And in the end, that's all that really matters.

So I guess for the new year I will resume some projects that I abandoned this year, and pick up some new ones to keep things interesting. I hope to finally get a job, or at least go back to school. The Other Half wants me to wait on getting a job until our daughter is older, but I am tired of waiting. Waiting hasn't brought me anything good, and I'm tired of wasting time.

I hope you all have a great new year! And if you're going out to celebrate tonight, please be safe. You don't want to start your new year in jail or a body bag.(Also, I'm totally jealous if you're going out to party. Its going to be just me and the kiddos tonight, and I'm sure we'll all be asleep before midnight.)