Good-bye 2011.

I wrote this on my Tumblr, but thought I'd share it here :)

So I guess its that time to recap the year and to make resolutions.

2011 was a crappy year, sprinkled with some good stuff. My grandma dying in January pretty much set the tone for my year, even though I thought I could get past it. I didn't. I haven't. The loneliness, depression and anxiety have only gotten worse as the months have passed. And then there are all the other medical problems that started in September and haven't really gone away. I truly believe that if your body feels its being wasted, it will start to waste away. And that's where I've been this whole year. Toss in all the family drama (some I was dragged into not by choice, others because I cared too much to not get involved) and, its been an emotionally trying year, to say the least.

There have been some good too. My son tackled a lot of firsts this year. First official swim lessons, first season of AYSO soccer, first day of kindergarten, first lost tooth...just to name a few :) To see him conquer his firsts and his fears make me a proud mommy, and thats all there is to it. All parents want is for their children to succeed. And at five years old, hes doing a pretty good job. My daughter hit some firsts too. Walking, talking and dancing her way through the year.(I doubt any of you know a one year old that can dance as well as she can). Shes feisty, so smart and opinionated. I can't wait to see what the next year brings for her.

I got to cross some stuff off my life endeavors list (because the term bucket list sends me into anxiety attacks) too. Seeing New Kids on the Block in concert, going to Las Vegas and eating at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles....they seem silly, and they are, but I had a lot of fun doing it all. And in the end, that's all that really matters.

So I guess for the new year I will resume some projects that I abandoned this year, and pick up some new ones to keep things interesting. I hope to finally get a job, or at least go back to school. The Other Half wants me to wait on getting a job until our daughter is older, but I am tired of waiting. Waiting hasn't brought me anything good, and I'm tired of wasting time.

I hope you all have a great new year! And if you're going out to celebrate tonight, please be safe. You don't want to start your new year in jail or a body bag.(Also, I'm totally jealous if you're going out to party. Its going to be just me and the kiddos tonight, and I'm sure we'll all be asleep before midnight.)

freaks and geeks- childish gambino

Found this video from the NKOTBSB concert that I went to on YouTube. I love them!!! And this is my current favorite song.

happy fourth of july!

My kids like to make funny faces :) I was hoping for a drama free day, but that doesn't look to be the case. In any event, I hope everyone else has a great day!

whether it takes you back to 1989 or 1999, tonight is gonna be magic....

So the Other Half and I took a little trip to L.A. on Friday so I could see NKOTBSB in concert. The day started off hectic. I forgot the tickets when we left so we had to turn around and get them, my mom didn't want Reagan to come over until later than planned because she was running errands, Gavin's daycare was full to state allowed capacity, then the other half's mom had forgotten she was supposed to watch Gav....and the other half was already in a bad mood. But everything worked out finally and we got on our way. Everything was going alright until we got closer to L.A. Due to Google navigation's ineptitude, we ended up taking a very scenic route through Beverly Hills. Not at all close to where we needed to be. And let me just say that driving through there made me feel super duper poor. Did I drive by some celebrity houses? I'd bet on it. But I don't have a Star Map and all you could see while driving by were gates, bushes and long driveways. We also got to drive on such iconic streets as Mulholland Dr and Rodeo Drive. Even though I've been to L.A. quite a few times, I've never been through B.H. So that was an experience. Our hotel ended up being right by LAX, in a little neighborhood called Inglewood. Yes. All the stereotypes you imagine when you hear Inglewood are true. There were L.A. County sheriffs all over the place, hookers with their pimps standing on the corner, graffiti and boarded up everything. Number streets are bad, so is Martin Luther King Blvd (have you ever know an affluent neighborhood to have an MLK street? I didn't think so.)

This is a house in Inglewood. I was trying to get the Christmas wreath that still hung on the door, but the app I was using to take the picture didn't have a zoom option. There was all kinds of trash in the yard. It looked abandoned, but you never know.

So on to the concert. It was fantastic. The only thing I hated was that I didn't have a real camera, and my cell phone camera clearly sucks. Eventually I gave up on taking pictures. No matter how I had the settings, it just wouldn't take a good shot. They had this girl named Ashlyne Huff be the opening opener. She was alright, I wasn't really impressed with her vocals or anything. The other half and I did get a picture with her after the show though. Nobody was in line to meet her, and I felt bad. After Ashlyne was Jordin Sparks, and I love her. She dedicated her song Battlefield to her boyfriend that's currently serving overseas in Afghanistan. She sang like maybe five songs, pretty much all her radio hits plus one or two more. It was her last night on the NKOTBSB tour, so I'm glad I got to see her. Then came the main event: NKOTBSB! I was so excited. And it was everything you would hope their concert would be: pyrotechnics, confetti, dancing, hot guys, and more crotch grabbing then you can shake a stick at. The picture above was taken as soon as they revealed themselves (which took forever, btw). The way they did the concert was great. They'd sing together, then alternate between groups. I didn't go in there as a Backstreet Boy fan (admittedly, they sang some songs that I didn't even know the words to), but I came out one. And Kevin Richardson came by and sang a few songs with them (hes the fifth Backstreet Boy that didn't rejoin the comeback). I guess he doesn't normally do that, so it was a big treat to all the diehard BSB fans. It was just more then my heart could handle though when it came to the New Kids. I was so happy to finally get to see them in concert. And they're still just as talented and just as dreamy as they were when I was five. The title of this post is actually a quote from Joey McIntyre. They are all very proud of the diverse ages in their audience. They said that NKOTB has been around for 25yrs (since I was two!) and the BSB have been around for 18. It doesn't seem like its been that long.

(the top one is a shot of all nine NKOTBSB members, and I just thought the last one looked cool)

I'd never been to the Staples Center either, that place is huge! Its the biggest venue I've ever been to for a concert. Instead of the usual arena food, they had a McDonalds and California Pizza Kitchen in there. And just in case you needed a new phone or something, there was a Verizon! It was crazy. And there was an anime expo going on in the convention center next to the Staples Center. It was so weird to see all the people dressed up as anime characters next to the slutty girls done up to the nines for the concert. It was an interesting mix of people, that's for sure.

The next day we went to Roscoe's Chicken n Waffles in Long Beach. I've always wanted to go, and I finally got my chance. The food was really good. They put cinnamon in their waffles I think, it gave it a little something extra. The wait was long, but it was worth it. 

The rest of Saturday was spent trying to go to the beach. We couldn't find parking at any of the beaches though (seriously, we went to like ten beaches easy, and there was no parking). The weather was nice, 70-80 degrees depending on where you were. I hated to leave it to come home to our 108 degree nastiness. From all the driving though we got to see a lot of the little cities around L.A. and that was really fun. For me, at least. I wasn't driving and I love to go to new places. The other half wouldn't really stop or anything though, so I didn't get to explore and it kinda made me angry.

(These were all taken as we drove through the Port of L.A.)

There was definitely a lot of good in the trip, but there was a lot of bad too. The other half was in a deplorable mood, and it seems that we don't travel well together anymore. We never talk, its just hours of silence/the radio while driving. And we argue. He hates spending money, and hates exploring. He doesn't understand why I like to take pictures and go to obscure places. His pissy mood has spanned days now (today included, he was being such a dick before he left for work. and now hes not answering my text messages). Hes been hanging out with a friend of his that I don't like, hes friending shady girls on Facebook again and honestly....I think hes cheating (but I can't prove it). Hes so unhappy with me for whatever reason, its given me a huge complex. Anyway though, I'm getting off topic.

The concert was the best thing to happen to me in a long time, its been forever since I've been that happy. I want more of those experiences. I really do.

I'm sick......

I have been for a week already. Nasty, nasty headaches and the inability to keep much in.....it makes me cranky. How much Dramamine and pain killers can you take before your body is immune to their greatness? I'm so ready for this to be over.....

I never even wrote about my April Las Vegas visit, and we ended up going again last week! We also went to Disneyland the week before. This is the first time in a few weeks where we don't have any out of town plans, and I miss it! I have a definite need to travel, thats for certain. I'd like to write about my trips while I have the time, but I felt that they would not be complete without pictures....and I'm having some difficulties with those. I dropped Droid Number Five in a Carl's Jr parking lot in Anaheim two days after I got it. Apparently a crack in the screen means death to a Droid. Verizon refused to touch it, and the Other Half won't pay for me to insurance claim it. I'm using his old Droid, and hope to have my pictures transferred soon. But his phone is already starting to act up (I swear I didn't do it!), and I hesitate to do anything that might make it worse. Also, I found out in Vegas this last time that my camera screen was completely destroyed. I'm pretty sure that my memory card (complete with the first Vegas trip and Disneyland photos) is still in tact, it just hurts me to look at my busted camera. I haven't even had it a year......I think I have the worst luck ever when it comes to electronics.

I have so much to say though, would it be awful if I put the stories first and pictures later? 

thursday (image heavy)

*deputies said *jesus signs in taft *are dirty drug towns the only place to find religion? *or do poor towns cling to religion like a life raft, hoping to be saved? * lakeview gusher * its our time maricopa, save our town! *cows! *pismo beach *splash cafe claw chowder in bread bowls * sandcastle development *reagan picking up shells *gavin getting buried *cold water *7-eleven and margarita the dog *shell beach *private cove, just like in the movies *purple flowers in fence posts * san luis obispo *beautiful cemeteries *blue tiled government building *indian on the corner *rio at the sunset drive in *pitch black winding roads *mice! *inconvenience stores *crack using towns and nothing's open? *home sweet home

(not all thoughts have pictures. pictures taken with my moto droid and my regular kodak digital camera)

wednesday

I've been reading a few of Keri Smith's books lately, so I've been feeling inspired like crazy. One of her books, The Guerilla Art Kit, tells you how to do art on the run. Mostly harmless illegal stuff, but I guess you could get busted for vandalism depending on your state's laws. Anyway, since the Other Half is a police officer and I don't feel like getting in trouble, I decided that my first act of guerilla art would be with sidewalk chalk at the park by my house. I went with my son, and he drew some pictures too, so I figured it'd look like harmless fun. And it was. Obviously, I am not an artist. But I had a lot of fun doing it, and I hope to do it again. If even one person saw them and it made their day a little happier, then that's all that matters.

march

March came and went without a peep from me. It was a pretty busy month for us, and a stressful one as well.

Gavin started off our March birthday madness by turning five on the 6th. He had a Cars themed birthday (for the second year in a row- its what he wanted...) and tons of fun. Reagan and I came next, both sharing the 13th. She turned one and I turned twenty-seven. My birthday was pretty much overlooked in interest of hers. Originally that's how I wanted it, I just wasn't in the mood to celebrate. But once it happened, I was a little sad. It was also my first birthday without my grandma, and it was devastating to me. I missed being told that I was her favorite birthday present, and that I always had to keep her age a secret :) You see, her birthday is March 14th. She would have been eighty-seven. That was a particularly difficult day for me....

The relationship with the other half was really strained in March as well. I don't know what his issues were, but he was such a dick the entire month. It was soooooooo so draining. If he wasn't at work, he was moping upstairs in our room. I felt like a single parent, I was doing everything by myself. Things have gotten a little better since then, but not a whole lot. We did go to Las Vegas the other day, which was nice (I'll be posting about that separately). He had a good attitude while we were there, then switched right back to douche mode the literal minute we came back into town. 

Anyway, Las Vegas pictures/post soon, plus some of the pages from my 28 before 28 list/journal. I'm really excited to be doing one of these this year. When journals are involved, I just go crazy and get stuff done!